The importance of communication (effective communication) in any kind of relationship is hard to underestimate. When that communication is overshadowed by angry emotion (or even the presumption of angry emotion), the message is lost on the listener or reader. The angry tone drowns out all of the content of the message. This short essay will be on some tips as to managing that angry emotion so that, over time, the message you have gets heard….
There are a few simple first steps you can take to start managing your anger. The very first one you (I assume) have already done – acknowledgement. The first step to handling any problem is admitting that it is one – and that you’re willing to do something to address it. Bravo.
The next step is really simple to. It’s to start documenting the anger. Write it down – start a journal. The very act of writing is cathartic, and the content that you write could lead to big insights in how to manage this emotion.
If you’re wondering what to write, start with some anger management worksheets that you can find, for free, on the internet. These will be checklists and questions that you can ask yourself, and write answers to in your journal. They will cover things like triggers and trigger events, physical cues, managing results, and the like.
Speaking of writing – so much of our communication today is instantaneous, and potentially dangerous when we write when angry (same as “drink and dial” – you say things, that in the light of day, seem irresponsible). If you want to write or reply to a message when you’re angry (the preference is to not), then at least don’t send it right away. Wait for a few hours or overnight (at least until the anger has dissipated) and then re-edit it. You’ll be surprised by how much editing you do!
The final piece of advice is to seek some professional help. Long gone are the days when it was embarrassing to see a therapist – now everyone does for one reason or another. Seek them out – they’ve seen people just like you hundreds of times.
So there you have it – a few very simple steps (one big step actually – write) to managing anger. Go for it!